Each year I love to reflect on how motherhood has changed me, & it's always around the same time in the April school holidays. Why? Because both of my kids birthdays are in May, & also because all the mammas celebrate Mother's Day.
My life today is consumed with my two kids Hudson & Charlotte. Two little people that are 50% me, & the most wonderful little human beings I know.
Motherhood has changed me for the absolute better. I have patience I never knew existed, & I have a love I never knew possible. I never bore of them, & always have an open ear to listen to them. I never knew I had these qualities until they entered my world.
Don't get me wrong, I have days when all I think is grrrrrrrrrr, they are driving me bonkas, but that moment is short lived & I move on.
My babies are growing up, they are both at school now, years 3 & 1.
I looked at this as such an achievement, my job as their mum through their babies years are finished, they are both confident & ready to learn. They have independence, & a passion for experience & discover the world without them being glued to my hip.
I look at a new school year & a new chapter of their lives, & a new journey of the person they will become. It's so exciting. New influences, teachers, & friends will continue to define them. The conversations between us have evolved, general chit chat between us I just adore. No more nursery rhymes, we are chatting about real things, I am forever being asked questions & I love it.
Both my kids are chatterboxes, they are so much like me it makes me laugh. Talk talk talk talk talk non stop.
I now understand when my mum used to tell me to shoosh for a while, I now get it.
Their opinions & conversation choices blow my mind. They usually revolve around superheroes & Star Wars with Hudson. He loves to gives me his theories on super powers, who is strongest, & more strategic with their battle plans, & lately who is Rae's father. Charlotte loves to chat away about anything really, but it mainly revolves around dancing, her friends, & always wanting to know about what she was like as a baby. Our conversations teach me to listen to what's important to them, & can at times gives me a different perspective on the world.
I am a taxi driver, I feel like the car is my second home. The kids are heavily into their sports so I'm forever driving from one place to another. I have taught them about passion & dedication, & watching them achieve has changed my life also. Sometimes I am so proud I feel I'll burst with happiness. I love it when their little faces when they look at me to make sure I saw what they just did, my heart explodes.
Dealing with loss has been a big thing in our lives this year.
Two years ago Dad was diagnosed with brain cancer. His deterioration was hard on all of us. One minute a strong healthy independent man, & then witnessing his ill health & becoming completely dependant was heartbreaking. They saw too much for their young innocent eyes.
This year the kids have had to learn about void, & their Grandad not being here. The questions why was he sick? why him? why did I lose my Grandad? It's been really hard, but has taught me to show endless empathy, understanding & how to be always supportive. I have had to learn how to help their aching hearts & heal them as well as my own. We have had lots of conversations about Grandad being in heaven, & he now has no more pain. And letting them know that he is always in their heart, & watching them every moment. He may not physically be here but his spirit is as he's an angel now.
Life moves so fast, & it really doesn't seem that long ago that nappies, sleeping routines, we were at kinder, & weekly Mother's group catch-ups were a highlight.
Motherhood this year has really pushed me to the limits of having to live without my Dad but has taught me endless compassion & support because of my kids. They are so young & innocent still, old enough to understand what's going on, but not mature enough to fully accept it.
I feel so blessed I got to become a mother, their mum & I am always excited about the next chapter.
I wanted to share some of my favourite photos from our trip to Queensland this year as it was an amazing time of being together. Words can explain how much I loved every moment of it.